All of my emotions… jdkabdkKbakxnakx dioosnsksksbdos like can’t someone just love me?
Two of the most beautiful things: a field of horses and a field of freshly baled hay.
I’m trying to give myself some closure, feel free to ignore.
It’s been about a month since he left me. No warning and I don’t know for sure what happened to him. I’d like to think that he just decided it was time to go; so he laid down, went to sleep, and didn’t get up. I pray that he didn’t get hit or stolen or abused but that’s always in the back of my mind and it drives me crazy because he was nothing but sweet and he didn’t deserve anything but love.
He was my papa’s dog, Fred. Lived on a farm his whole life, and when my papa passed away his neighbor offered to take him. He did. He didn’t feed him or take care of him. Fred ran away, back to my papa’s house where my family and I were staying to settle the estate. He ran several all times, always starving with the pads on his feet worn out and raw. One night I had had enough. I begged my parents to let us take him home. I was eight and they said yes. We had to pick him up and put him in the bed of the truck because he was so tired and weak. We drove the hour drive home in the dark without telling anyone. He didn’t jump out.
We were worried that he wouldn’t adapt to where we live. There were no major roads where my papa lived, and while I would hardly call the road in front of my house major, it has a lot more traffic than he was used to. He never got hit. We were worried that he wouldn’t stay, that he’d try to run back home. He didn’t try. We took him back with us one day to visit. We were worried that he would get out, run, and never come back. He never left the truck. I loved him.
He was so gentle. He loved kids and he always followed us to church to play with the other kids. One week we went on vacation without him and when we came home there was a message on our machine from the neighbor saying that she missed us at church but Fred was there. He went up the aisle inside looking around for us because the doors were open and it was hot. He always preferred sweets. Given the choice between an Oreo and a steak, it was always the Oreo. The men that spent a week putting in our pool loved him. They brought him Oreos everyday after they found out he liked them.
He loved the snow. He was getting up there in the years, but when it snowed, he was young again. He would go tearing through the yard, fast as he could. He would eat as much as he could fit in his mouth. He even tried to eat my snowman one year.
He was terrified of thunder storms. We would let him come inside durning them and he would sleep in my bed so close to me. Of course we were both burning up because it was summer and he was a hairy beast, but neither one of us moved. He slept in the tent with me when we went camping. He always chased the other animals out of the yard, but never even barked at a person. He was a protector and a gentle giant. I love him.
I grew up with him. We got him when I was 8 and now I’m 18, crying so hard in my bathroom floor where no one can see me. I just want to know for sure what became of him was peaceful. I just want to know for sure that no one hurt him. I just want to know for sure that he knew how loved he is until his very last moment, because I’ll love him forever.